I am under this new suspicion that I may have a problem. I may have an issue with being both impatient and all or nothing. I want easy. I want honesty. I want bluntness. I want relationship.
There's this world, a fantasy world that I am living in. This world consists of people willing to be honest with me and themselves. It's a world where I don't have to sit and wait for a guy to hang out with me. It's a world where I can immediately have that flutter feeling again without the anxious uncomfortable feeling of waiting to know what's going on.
This is manic city.
The confusion/bullshit of dating. I hate it. I hate the preemptive "i want to hang with you". I hate the un-assuredness of should I say something, should I wait. Two weeks is plenty for me to know whether or not I want to be near someone all the time. Kiss them. Cuddle them. Etc.
This is where it gets more confusing.
I know someone who is blunt. I know someone who is easy to talk to, whom I like pretty much. I'm sure I could date them. I liked them before. I would have to wait forever.
Enter someone else.
This one is available. I know them less. They are more awkward. I have a flutter. I don't know how to read said person. He says he likes me, but has only said it while drunk.
I'm sure this is the part I should just turn off my brain and wait things out, but I have ovaries which means I continuously over-think and over-analyze everything.
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